Trying Really Really Hard to be Brave

About two months ago, I left my job as an instructional designer to pursue my PhD in Chemistry.  It's been a dream of mine since I finished my undergraduate degree (9 years ago).  I'm just getting around to it now, and am really excited to be taking steps to accomplish my goal.  However, 9 years is a really long time to be out of school.  I've forgotten more than a lot of people know about chemistry.  I'm trying to get back into the swing of school, but it's hard when you have to learn all of the class material and re-learn all the information you've forgotten. 

On top of class work, I'm also teaching two lab sections.  I love the teaching part, and my students are really awesome... but the grading takes HOURS.  That takes away from the time I can spend studying and re-learning everything I need to know. 

As if I don't already have enough stress, I just selected my research group and advisor.  I'm really excited about my research project, and I think I'll be able to make real progress during my time at FIU.  However, I am now spending hourse each week doing lit searches and reading articles I don't really understand (then spending even more hours trying to figure out all the words/topics I don't understand so I can re-read the article and hopefully understand the article).  I'm also trying to learn how to use all the equipment in the lab (I just found out I'm in charge of maintaining all the equipment in the lab... and I don't yet know how to use it) and how to conduct polymerizations and simple synthesis' which are skills I need to master before starting work on my project.

I love what I'm doing, but I'm terrified.  I'm terrified that I'm not smart enough to be a PhD chemist.  I'm terrified that I'm not as good at this stuff as I thought.  I'm terrified that I'm going to fail and have to tell everyone that I couldn't cut it.  I'm just terrified... all the time.  I want to cry.  But, instead I smile and pretend everything is going well.  In front of my students, I act like the authority on everything dealing with Chemistry.  In front of the other students, I pretend like everything is going well and I'm as smart as them.  But inside I'm wondering if they will still like me if I fail out after one semester.  I'm wondering whaty my husband will think of me if I fail out.  I'm worried about the economic impact on my family if I can't make it. 

It's really hard to step out of your comfort zone.  When you find something that you do easily (for me, it was instructional design), it is easy to become complacent.  It becomes easy to just do that thing and make the money you need and just settle.  I didn't want to just settle, so I jumped... without a net... and it's terrifying.  I hope I catch the bar.  The alternative (a big messy splotch on the ground below) isn't an option.  So, I will continue to be brave.  I will continue to reach for that bar.  All I need is to get my finger tips around it... no fancy flips... just get my fingers around the bar.  In the future, I'll work up to flips and twists.  In the future, I will do more than just hold on... but for now, I just need to not fail.

Here's to everyone who has jumped.  Here's to everyone who has been terrified, but has continued to try.  Bravo to you.  It is not easy.  You are to be commended for your heart, desire, hard work and dedication.  No one can take your successes away from you.  They are yours alone based on your hard work.  Congratulations to you!

Birthday Earrings

As many of you know, I started working on my Chemistry PhD this fall.  On my first day of school, I met these two awesome girls, Kelley and Michelle.  Over the last 6 weeks, I've become pretty good friends with them.  Over these few weeks, I've noticed that Michelle wears earrings almost every day.  I made a mental note and tucked it away until I could act on it. 

Well, Michelle's birthday is on Thursday... so I thought it was the perfect opportunity to make some earrings for her.  When she came over to study for our Organic Chemistry exam, I took out all my beads and had her pick a few beads that she liked so I could create some birthday earrings for her (she knows she is getting earrings, but doesn't know what they will look like). 

She gravitated toward my blue beads, so I decided to create some sweet dangle earrings using the blue beads and fish charms.  My goal was to make it look like the fish were swimming in water.  I then decided to create a second pair of earrings for her using different colors and sizes of pearls.  Here's a peek at her birthday earrings (luckily she doesn't read my blog, so I can post pictures here).

I'll let you know how she likes them.  I just have to wait a couple more days before I can give them to her!

Kell

My First Attempt at Wire Crocheting

Ever since I saw my first piece of wire crocheted jewelry created by Dawn of Designs by Dawn Marie, I've been amazed.  I think I have loved each piece of jewelry she has created since I've known her.  Not too long ago, she posted a video demonstrating how to complete a simple wire crochet project. 

After watching the video, I felt inspired. I went out and bought a crochet hook.  Because I was studying for an organic chemistry exam, I couldn't work on my first wire crochet project right away.  I sat staring at my new crochet hook and dreaming about my project.  Finally, I carved out a little time to work on my project. 

My first attempt didn't work out so well.  If you want to include beads in your wire crochet project, you have to string them on the wire before you start crocheting.  Well, that didn't happen for my first attempt.  I completed a couple of crochets (is that what they are called?) and was ready to put a bead on... but I couldn't figure out how since the loose end of my wire was still on the spool.  Finally, I went back to the video on Dawn's website and figured out my mistake.  I un-did everything I'd completed and strung a bunch of fall colored beads on the wire before starting again.  Once I had the correct order figured out, the project went much better.  The only problem is that I didn't realize how much wire is required to complete a project.  I ran out of wire before completing the necklace (not to mention, I made the necklace a little too short to fit around the neck of any human I know). 

Oh well, I was able to learn a new technique and feel a little proud that it doesn't completely suck.  I love the colors of fall, so I selected a warm brown wire and some different colors and shapes of fall beads.  I think the dispersement of beads can use some more work... but I'm not completely unhappy with the way it turned out. 

Happy Beading!

Kell

GIVEAWAY ALERT!!!!!

I am so totally in love with this necklace.  I can't even tell you how much I want it!

However, I have decided to be nice and show it to all of my readers so you can have a chance to win it too (even if it does decrease my chances of winning ;)).  Regina at Regina's Writings created this beautiful necklace using a pendant from MaryAnn Carroll. 

Head over to Regina's Writings and check out the giveaway.  Check out her other posts while you are at it because they are full of beautiful and inspirational jewelry!  I'm sure you'll be in love too!

Jewelry Swap... My Creative Process

I just heard from Davinia, and she likes the necklace I created for her!!!  I'm so excited and relieved.  I've been worried since sending it.  So, I'm glad to know I hit the right note with the piece.  Now that she has received the necklace, I can go through my interview questions, her answers, and how I interpreted her answers to come up with the necklace I created.  I hope you enjoy this peek inside my mind (and aren't frightened away by my little oddities).

I tried to ask questions that would give me insight into her peronality and her life.  I didn't want to simply ask what she wanted, and then create it.  I wanted to be inspired by her, and create something based on how I felt after "meeting" her.  Here are the questions I came up with to help in my process. 

Beadativity:  What piece of jewelry would you like? Necklace? Bracelet? Earrings?
Davinia:  Necklace
This question was pretty straight forward.  I wanted to make sure I created something she would like and would wear, so I asked what piece of jewelry she wanted. 

Beadativity:  What is your lifestyle like?
Davinia:  Fairly routine and boring, I work partime and still have 2 adult children living at home (will they ever leave?).
This question is still a pretty standard question.  Knowing what kind of lifestyle she lives helps me make a lot of decisions about the jewelry.  For example, if she had two young kids, she might need a really sturdy piece of jewelry.  Since she has two adult children, the jewelry doesn't have to stand up to the trials and tribulations of small children.  However, I did want to make something that can easily transition from work to casual life. 

Beadativity:  What are some activities you like to do?
Davinia:  Jewelry making of course, I'm an avid reader and a bit of a TV watcher. (love Glee)
Another question that tells me about her lifestyle and how/where she will wear the jewelry. 

Beadativity:  What colors do you like/hate?
Davinia:  I'm green person any shade, not really fond of red.
There are no secrets behind this question.  I just wanted to make something she likes.  I decided to give her control of the colors (or at least give me a pallet to work with).

Beadativity:  Are you allergic to any materials?
Davinia:  Not that I'm aware of
Well, I would hate to create something she couldn't wear!

Beadativity:  Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, Lady Gaga, Janis Joplin, or some other icon?
Davinia:  Janis Joplin (she's my era, I'm a baby boomer)
This was an important question for me (and the beginning of me trying to really get inside of Davinia's head).  I think each person I included in the list has a very distinct style and is an icon in her own right.  Finding out which icon she identifies with tells me a lot about her personality.  Because she selected Janis Joplin (one of my favorites as well!), I wanted to create something organic and earthy for her.  I didn't want to create anything too formal or structured. 

Beadativity:  What is your favorite food?
Davinia:  Avacados
Okay, I have to admit that this question is just for fun.  I don't really have a way to directly relate it to jewelry making.  It was just another way to get to know Davinia and what she likes. 

Beadativity:  What is your favorite song/singer/band?
Davinia:  Being a baby boomer I have to say the Beatles.
Similarly to the icon question, the type of music a person identifies with can tell a lot about her.  The Beatles are great, and were such trail blazers!  Based on this answer, I knew I wanted to make something bold and daring.

Beadativity:  What is your favorite movie (or type of movie)?
Davinia:  I loved the Shawshank Redemption and the Green Mile and Stand by Me are absolute favourites.
I look at movies the same way I look at the icon and music questions.  All of the movies Davinia mentioned have huge heart.  I wanted to create something inspired and special... something with a heart of its own.

Beadativity:  Which of the following images do you relate to the most?
Davinia:  Number 4, I love the colours and the contemporary feel to it.

I didn't display all the pictures.  I just decided to show the picture she selected.  However, I gave her choices of a Thomas Kinkaid picture, a Dali picture, an Ansel Adams picture, and some others.  This question solidified my ideas about what I thought she would like.  It gave me a feel for what colors and what types of motion and flow she would like.  It reinforced what I'd learned in other questions.  After she selected this piece, I knew I had to make something organic and unstructured, but bold and special. 


Beadativity:  What is your favorite room in your house and why?
Davinia:  Definitely not the kitchen (hate cooking), probably the family room (nothing to do with family though, that sounds awful doesn't it) it's where my craft desk and computer are set up.
This is another question that is not directly related to jewelry making, but gives me insight into Davinia's personality.  I love how she answered it (with a bit of humor). 

Beadativity:  What is your favorite vacation you have ever taken and why?
Davinia:  Last Christmas my husband and I went to Tasmania for a holiday, I'd always wanted to visit and wasn't disappointed, it's everything I imagined and more.
Where people decide to vacation, and which vacations are the most special tell a lot about people.  From everything I've heard about Tasmania, it is awesome (unfortunately, I wasn't able to visit when I was in Australia).  It is somewhere I also have really wanted to go.  I'm glad it was everything she'd hoped!

Beadativity:  If you can go one place in the world, where would it be?
Davinia:  Canada
Similarly to her favorite vacation, knowing where Davinia hopes to go helps me get to know her better.  This is just another question that helps me "get in her head".

After receiving Davinia's answers, I knew the feeling I wanted the piece to have.  I knew it was going to be something funky, colorful, organic, informal, and fun.  I just didn't have a specific plan in mind.  I kept her answers in the back of my mind as I went about my normal life for a couple of days.  I knew that if I thought too hard about the project, I would never figure it out.  I needed to let inspiration come on its own. 

While reading one of the blogs I enjoy (Beverly Ash Gilbert's blog), I found the inspiration I'd been waiting for.  She posted a picture that created an entire concept in my head.  As soon as I saw the picture, I knew exactly what I wanted the piece to look like.  I just needed to figure out how to create it.  Since I love working with seed beads, I decided to paint the picture using beads.  I first found colors that worked with the photo and worked to melt the colors together.  Then, I created the rope part of the necklace using a version of freeform beadweaving.  Once the rope was done, I worked to create a pendant that focused on green since it is Davinia's favorite color.  Instead of creating grasses as the focus, I decided to think a little bigger and create the silhouette of a tree on the pendant and allow the branches to work their way up the chain. 

Without further ado, here are some pictures of the necklace I created!

What's Better Than Labor Day?

A Labor Day bead sale of course!  This weekend (until September 7) Artbeads.com is offering 20% off all orders of $60 or more.  Just check out the store and stock up on all the seed beads, findings, tools, artist beads, glass beads, pendants, charms, and everything else you need to continue creating beautiful jewelry this fall.  Once you have everything you need, use coupon code ZZW20P-LDS to save 20% on your $60 purchase.  Hurry, because the sale ends on September 7!

FDEkszer and Fairysdreams Jewellery's Game of August

On August 26, I posted about a giveaway from FDEkszer and Fairysdreams Jewellery.  However, I didn't pay attention, and entered July's pattern giveaway (silly me right?!?!?).  Well, I returned to her blog and found out that there is a new game that is ending today.  I think I just may have snuck in under the wire... and I think there are a few hours for my readers to still win this awesome giveaway too!  The greatest thing?  Well, everyone is a winner!  All you have to do is go to her blog and join the game.  This is a very generous giveaway and I urge you to check it out and follow her blog to make sure you don't miss out on anything!

Happy Beading!
Kell