January 1, 2011

Introducing Myself

As I was reading the blogs I follow today, I realized a few things...  The blogs I like the best and enjoy the most are ones that are not solely dedicated to beading.  I like to feel like I know the people who write the blogs.  I want to feel like a friend or confidante.  The other thing I realized is that although that is what I like, I rarely let people in.  I don't really let out many personal details.  I write a lot without ever really saying much of everything.  So, here is an attempt on my part to introduce myself... to become more of a person and friend and less of a automaton.
  1. Right now, I'm unemployed.  That's hard for me to admit.  I am a very type A personality.  I want to be perfect and admitting failure is difficult for me.  But, I failed... there it is.  I took a huge leap, and it backfired on me.  I applied to and was accepted to work on my PhD in Chemistry.  I left my stable job and went for it... but after 10 years away, I just didn't have it anymore.  I try to candy coat it, but plain and simple, I failed. 
  2. It's easy to hurt me.  I pretend to be tough, but my confidence is very fragile.  It doesn't take much to break it.  I believe in people and let them into my heart... and often they don't deserve it.  I pretend I don't care what they think, but opinions matter.
  3. I have created an AMAZING family for myself.  The family I was given hasn't been very good to me, but I have made my own family that is beyond belief.  I have a husband who I love more than the world itself.  His entire family has accepted me as if I was part of their family rather than an "in-law".  They often call me their sister/neice/daughter rather than -in law.  I also have great friends whom I consider family.  Although my PhD career was short lived, I met the most amazing group of friends.  It was like "love at first sight" except with friends instead of romance.  I immediately clicked with each of my friends and felt like I fit in.  I've never found a group that I truly belonged to... until this group.  I call us orphans because we are all far from our families.  Now we are our own family.
  4. I love animals more than just about anything in the world.  It hurts my heart to even think of an animal being harmed... to the point that it will bring me to tears.  I think of animals the same way I think of people... and if animals aren't cherished, I become very upset.  I hate seeing dogs chained up outside without food or water, I hate the way show animals are treated, I want to cry when I think of a dog being lost... I think animals are people.
  5. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.  When you are 5, it's easy to believe you can be anything.  When you are 30, its a little harder.  I want to find something I'm really good at, but I'm really average at a lot of things... and that makes it hard to find your calling.  Despite not knowing where my future is, I'm still searching and trying things out.  I haven't given up hope.  30 isn't that old... I still have a lot of good years to find my passion and follow it.
  6. I love to travel.  I didn't really travel until I was 25, but I warmed up to it quickly.  In the last 5 or 6 years, I've been to Belize, Italy, Greece, Australia, China, Malaysia, Thailand, Fiji, Yap, Palau, Pohnpei, and Hong Kong.  So far, my favorite place is Sydney, Australia, but I can't wait to find a new favorite place.  My next trip will be to Africa.  I want to visit Cairo and see the pyramids... then, travel to the south and go on a safari!
Well, that's all for now.  I will try to include some anecdotes and personal information in all my future posts so I don't become one of those bloggers who only wants to promote her business.

Oh, yeah, in an attempt to open up a little more, here is a picture of the "real" me at the Great Wall.


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